[11] What I Wish Everyone Knew About Corgi Puppies For Sale At Ames Corgi Puppies For Sale At Ames

Let me explain.

I lost a very close friend recently.

My friend isn't dead, thank God; we have parted ways after months of tumult, crossed wires, broken boundaries, and finally, dangerous indifference. In short, things got too heavy to maintain for both of us. Coping with the absence of that friendship feels like a loss: I've been grieving, and when you grieve a loss, you often wonder what the hell you could've done differently had you another last chance to make things right. I've never lost a friend I've been this close with before, and in some ways, it feels like a break-up, but much worse.

The Idler Wheel... explores all of these feelings I'm experiencing with such a rich, stinging intensity that tears flow as I write this. Most of these songs feel like they were written for me, and maybe y'all can relate.

I mean, darlings, have you ever pushed someone away who tried his or her best to be good to you? Because of an unbreakable wall or trust issues or what-have-you? Enter "Jonathan," an account of an ex-boyfriend who treated her right (author and Bored to Death creator Jonathan Ames, if you're nasty). The lyrics deal with unwillingness to let someone in close: "Just tolerate my little fists tugging at your forest chest." The song has organic factory sounds churning against the piano's chugging melancholy melody, suggesting that this relationship was one Fiona reveres and regrets.

Speaking of regret, "Regret" finds our girl bellowing a hook like never before to a disrespectful lover: "I ran out of white dove feathers/ To soak up the hot piss that comes from your mouth/ Every time you address me." (UGH. Like, who can't relate to that?) And that's juxtaposed with a firm accusation: "You taught me to be mean." (We all know what that's like.) The most powerful thing about this song for me isn't just the words, though; it's the machine-like clattering that sounds like teeth grinding, or gears literally turning in the brain. It's like holding your tongue in the middle of a fight, but everything in you says to restrain yourself until you just can't anymore. It's on the verge of self-destruction. An aside: this song feels like a sequel to ultra-spare first single "Every Single Night," where "every single night's a fight" with Fiona's brain because she "just wants to feel everything." See that sci-fi tinged clip below:

The Idler Wheel... struggles with the kind of tension created by sudden ends to relationships (though both knew what was coming all along): where there seems to be unfinished business; where the last word is the only thing that would bring at least one side some peace. I could go on and on about the many levels on which this album resonates, but it would take an indefinite amount of time (and space and energy and likely, more tears).

It's a lot like the end of days. You've no choice but to feel everything there is to feel, and sit with it until it leaves.

Also out today: Justin Bieber--Believe; Kenny Chesney--Welcome to the Fishbowl; Smashing Pumpkins--Oceania

Don't do like I did and run good things in your life to the ground. Obviously Fiona Apple's new album, and her music in general, means a lot to me. What does it mean to you? I want to know everything.

More music...

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